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I'm so sick of being nice and helping someone and then they take advantage of it and then end up abandoning me or not even thinking how what they're doing makes me feel. I do consider others feelings.... I at least don't bother them even if they are taking advantage of me because I want to make them happy.... I can't hide my feelings though, so I had to draw this. I know it's not very good, but it helped me get through this moment where I am in pain for doing something I thought would keep someone from possibly killing themselves. I won't say I made a mistake, because I didn't, but I would have wished that she would have thought a little more before walking out on me like that.... It's always been like that. Though most of my friends are considerate. I just don't want to be a bother, but I want to help them, but I hate that they don't consider my feelings as well, but I don't want to make things worse for them. It's so complicated and frustrating! I want to tell my feelings, but I know that I will make it worse for them. So I'll keep living like this, because my friends' happiness is important to me.
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| I'm actually going to start doing commissions. These are a little bit
pricey, but it's because of time and tools. Keep reading and I'll tell
you the good-all discount deals.
Songs
Song (1:30 min.) = $30
Song with lyrics = $35
Every added minute = $10
Photography
One person = $8
(I take 10 pictures, you choose the top 3, so you basically get 2 photos free)
With a background/ambiance (an artificial and created one) = $15
Add a person = $3
Nature = $8
(same photo deal with this one)
Other = $8-$20
Writing
Poem (one page) = $3
Add a page = $1
Drawing
(choose between a bust, half-body, or full body view)
Traditional
Realism (shaded) = $11
Realism (sketch) = $3
Realism (inked) = $8
Realism (colored) = $16 - $40 (depending on media)
Realism (portrait of you) = +$5
Anime (shaded) = $12
Anime (sketch) = $3
Anime (inked) = $8
Anime (colored) = $16 - $40 (depending on media)
Anime (portrait of you) = +$5
Digital
Realism (sketch) = $7
Realism (inked) = $11
Realism (colored) = $21
Realism (portrait of you) = +$5
Anime (sketch) = $7
Anime (inked) = $11
Anime (colored) = $21
Anime (portrait of you) = =$5
I'm not doing amv commissions or requests, unless you convince me.
Commission Deals
-First day of every month, prices are halved, but only for the first person.
-Friends (known for a year online or know in real life) get a 25% discount
-Holiday discounts - 35% off
-Family discount - 65% off
-If commissioned with me before - 10% off of one item | | |
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I will become someone I always wanted to be. I will become someone to which I can like.
I hate myself and my streak of losing! I'm sick of always being
behind someone! But, no matter how much I try.....I always get left
behind, lost and alone.
I can't take it anymore, I won't be a loser anymore. I will become
someone I can like. I will become someone I truly am. I am not who I am
right now. I'm a small shadow of my greater self. I don't know how to
unlock myself, but I will search for eternity to unlock that sacred me.
The me that I know I am, but am not. The me that is the true me, but
has never been seen before. I will become strong! I will become great!
I just.....don't want to lose my true self...... I don't want to give
up before I find myself. I want to search and find myself, then stay
with myself as I can do things I couldn't do before.
I will become.....me. | | |
| LOOKY!!!
 http://www.lulu.com/content/1183489
I know the book price is a little on the high side, but that's because the photos are in color. If you want to save about $8, then go and buy the downloadable version.
Most of these photographs have never been posted on DA, so these should almost all be new to you guys, so PLEASE buy. :sniff: I need money for copic markers.
More books, including my own manga ( ) will be sold on Lulu.com as well, but I have to finish them first, especially the manga.
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| I'm listening to "In Her Eyes" by Josh Groban at the moment and I'm feeling a little bit despaired. I got the Harry Pottter book and am on page 200. But, that's just random information.
I.....love a man, a guy I work with. I keep on having these moments that I can ask him out, but I'm too afraid. I love him so much, it's not a crush at all. If he says no......my heart will break. He might say yes, but I wish I was more positive. I'm not even really upset about this situation. I feel lonely.....really lonely. I feel like I have no friends anymore, even though I could see them whenever I wanted to. I'm so pathetic, I don't want to be alone, but yet I don't want to see my friends. I want to just draw and read and be on the computer. That's all I do all freaking day when I'm not working and I'm so sick of being lazy! I hate myself for that.... I don't like being lazy, but I'm too lazy to do anything else! It's so frustrating.
I feel fat, even though I'm not really overweight. I'm just tired all the time and I eat when I'm not really hungry. I'm such a coward and too confident all at the same time. It's like I've split into two sides and can't figure out which is the true me. It's horrible. I have so many drawings to do and I can pretty much only do them when I'm inspired and when I'm inspired I become too lazy, so I don't do the drawing even though it's been a year, since the person requested it. I feel so awful and worthless.... Why am I like I am? Is my mother to blame? I know it's not my father, he's not lazy and he gets everything done. You can call him a role model to me. Well, I don't believe in role models, because even role models have their flaws.....
It's so hot in my house and I feel sick. I want to just forget about all the stress I'm going through, but I can't. It's not even school yet and I've been stressed all summer!!!! I'm so sick of this...PLEASE let this go away, it's eating at me. I'm not even aware of much of what I'm typing. I'm just letting my thoughts and feelings flow out. I don't think I've ever typed this fast before. It feels good, except for the fact that my hand is cramping up. XD
Anyways, thank you so much for those who read this and I'm sorry I wasted your time. And for those who didn't read this, well, I hope you're just as miserable as I am and that's why you didn't read this, because you didn't have time. No one has time in this world. Not even for family......
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